I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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