Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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