this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
