There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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