I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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