He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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