he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
