my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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