either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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