No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
