I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
