FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
