Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Green mimosas i think yes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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