How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
