so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
