Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
