Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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