If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize