Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i dont even know how to be here
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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