I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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