What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
