what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Randomize
