ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
