i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize