his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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