so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
