Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
