why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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