the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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