we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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