Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Less talking, more tequila
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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