I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
