I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
