So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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