Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
