Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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(563): View more from Iowa

you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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(530): View more from California

i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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(972): View more from Texas

I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

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(816): View more from Missouri

peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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(562): View more from California

bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.

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(815): View more from Illinois

One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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(425): View more from Washington

i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.

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