Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
