I can feel you judging me through the phone.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
