Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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