I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
