well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
