I can tuck mytits in my pants
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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