I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize