butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So squirting runs in the family.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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