just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We have started to decorate penises.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
