I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
