This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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