My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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