Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
