Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
