I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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