Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
