She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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