I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
