My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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