Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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