Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize