Duck Duck Cougar?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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