the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
