Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
